Thursday, 16 December 2010

Gavin: Little wonder

Considering Sonny has lived this for nearly a year and a half, it stands to reason that he's well versed in the big C. Rather like how jealous we all are of those kids who speak two languages because the mum is French, Sonny is so fluent he can spot a pre-packaged syringe at ten paces. The nurses on Peter Pan last night were just lovely, in fact they were super lovely considering the last thing they wanted was a cancer patient but, rather like working on a Mac and then being given a PC, they know the fundamentals of looking after oncology patients, but have none of the learned knowledge or short cuts. To put this little story slightly into context, I reckon even at a low estimate, Sonny has had over a thousand infusions through his Hickman line and at his peak, had six syringe drivers pumping in 18 per night (a record at the Wittington I'm proud to point out)...

Sonny: What's that?
Lovely nurse: This is called a syringe driver, it slowly pushes in the medicine.
Sonny: Yeah, yeah I know, but what's THAT (points to small syringe).
Lovely nurse: This is piptazobactum, it's an antibiotic that will help with your tempera...
Sonny: YES, I know what it is but what's THAT (again points to the small syringe).
Me: It's just a different size mate, don't panic it's all the same (knowing full well what he was getting at but making sure I didn't tell lovely nurse her job or she may not be quite so responsive at 4am).
Sonny: But the small syringes will oclude?
Lovely nurse: You can't put anything bigger down a Hickman line, I've checked on the system.
Me: Just so you know, you can... (at this point I'm not sure whether to put my foot down and get her to change it or that will lead to a night of bleeping alarms... I decide to let her try).
*Bleep... Occlusion... Bleep... Occlusion*
Sonny: Would you like me to lie on my other side side to try to unblock it? (Rolls eyes subtlety at me).
Lovely nurse: That would be brilliant Sonny.
*Bleep... Occlusion... Bleep... Occlusion*
Lovely nurse: I think the line's twisted (untwists a not twisted line).
Me: (rolls eyes subtlety at Sonny).
*Bleep... Occlusion... Bleep... Occlusion*
Lovely nurse: I think I'll try a bigger syringe.
Me: Yeah, isn't it annoying when that happens eh, doing it by the book and the stupid machines don't like it... bloody things!
(nurse leaves room)
Sonny: I told you.
Me: Yeah alright, but we need to play the long game here. If you're stuck here for a week the last thing we want to do is tell her job and piss her off... trust me on this one.
Sonny: Good call... did you like my 'lie on the other side' line?
Me: Yeah. Good lad.
(Nurse draws up larger syringe and plugs it in)
2am: No bleeping

1 comment:

  1. In it's uncomfortable context, you guys are funny as..! Sonny you're a star and a half. Love from Reuben and his fast-growing little Bro' Orlando and me. xxx